


Seven Deadly Sins

by mektp98



Series: Epitaph [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Ending, Canon can burn, Dark characters are the best, Domestic Konan, Domestic Pain, Gen, Infinite Tsukuyomi, Jiraiya get your students under control, Kekkei Genkai | Bloodline Limit, Madara wins, Obsessive Behavior, Pain is God, Violence, When will it stop raining in Ame, i don't even know what i'm doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9921650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mektp98/pseuds/mektp98
Summary: This was her punishment for flying too close to the sun. Then again, it didn't matter as long as he was the sun.





	1. Sloth

* * *

**Seven Deadly Sins**

* * *

_She exhales noisily and wipes her mouth with her sleeve. Everything around seems to have gone still. The wind has stopped roaring and the waves have stopped moving. Neither of them are talking. There are no more words needed at this point, not when they have said everything that matters already. Sometimes, taunts and threats might break the silence but that's fine, they don't even try to listen to them. There is something eerie with the silence, like the calm before the storm but that is fine too. They are ready for the storm to come, they have prepared for it. They have been waiting for this storm for the past decade. It's coming and it will devastate everything in its path but they deserve it, they deserve it because they're the ones who caused it._

_She is feeling sick. Various scents are assaulting her and even if she is used to it by now, even if these odors are a part of who and what she is, it still feels disgusting. Bile, sweat and blood have mixed on her clothes and the sickening fragrance created by the blending is distracting her. Her throat feels raw and dry and she's surprised to be able to feel it after it's been crushed to the point that she had to puncture a hole in her trachea so that she won't choke to death. She's surprised to be alive altogether. Three of her ribs are broken, her right hand is gone and she has a gaping hole in the stomach. Nothing can be done for the first two and she knows that the last one is slowly killing her. There's nothing she can do against it though, there is no way to mend the skin and the organs anyway._

_The worst of her injuries, not that people understand why it is so vital to her, is the loss of her only functional eye. She is used to trust her senses as her eyesight is bad since her birth, but she has become quite dependent of her vision, however reduced it is. She doesn't mourn her eye because it can give her a substantial advantage in this situation however but rather because it prevents her from being able to etch in her mind the face of the sole remaining person she has in the world. It's silly to remember that now but as she has never used her eye much, she has never bothered to look at_ _**her** _ _face. She knows_ _**her** _ _voice,_ _**her** _ _scent and_ _**her** _ _aura because she has spent the last 10 years by_ _**her** _ _side but she has never bothered with how_ _**she** _ _looks like._

_A raspy laugh escapes her lips as she realizes the pathetic life she has lived and the worthless human being she has been. It's even more hilarious that she has the guts to call herself a human being after everything she has done. She knows that there is something wrong with her; she's twisted, mad, abnormal. She killed because she was ordered to but she was never ordered to enjoy it and to rejoice in it, and she did anyway. Even now, she can still remember the sensation of blood dripping on her hands and filling her mouth. She can't even tally the number of persons she has killed. She might have been able to pacify her mind and her heart, if she didn't kill so much children. Yes, children. Children and elderly. It can't even be called killing anymore as she tortured them until they begged to be killed._

_She feels mirth bubble in her stomach and she bends forward to giggle. Even in her pitiful state, it sounds somewhat crazed and disturbed. It's fine. It's fine because she's going to die soon anyway, she's going to be erased from fundament so there's no need to try and restrain herself. She'll die the same way she was born and she's perfectly content with it: she's never been anything but an abomination anyway. The hilarity finally subsides and she straightens, staring at the man in front of her who has taken everything from her, the sole thing she ever cherished in this world. It wasn't much really, what is a single person in this world populated by billions? It's still the one and only person she has ever loved, ever lived for. She can't bring herself to hate his_ _**murderer** _ _so she'll hate this man, who has indirectly triggered their encounter and led him to his death._

" _You hate me now, don't you?" He asks rhetorically and she has never heard such coldness in his voice before._

_She remembers a time during which this man terrified her. It feels so far away now. He still desperately outmatches her but it's fine. There's only one person able to terrify her now and it's not him. No, this man whom she's afraid of is dead, dead because of this person in front of her and dead because of her. She never truly realized how much she feared him until he died. He was her everything, she loved him more than anyone else and yet, she had never abhorred anyone as much as him. She loved him, she hated him, she feared him. This person owned her pathetic being in his palm and he's gone now. He's gone but it's okay because she'll avenge him. She's not disillusioned, death won't reunite them. He's so bright, so pure and even if he's a monster like her, no, even worse than her, he's still immaculate. She, on the other hand, is rotten to the core; she threw her humanity away a long time ago and she's nothing more than a monster hidden under human features. Death won't reunite them but it's okay, because she'll love him even in her death._

' _I'll kill you.' She promises wordlessly as her crushed throat doesn't enable her to talk._

_She's the first to break the unsettling silence. She rushes forward, her silhouette almost a blur to the other and appears behind him, senbons ready between her fingers but it's still not enough. She's not as fast as she was at the beginning of the fight and now, he has no problem keeping up with her. He doesn't bother to dodge as the needles pass right through him and in less than a second he's on her, rod raised and ready to finish her off. She crouches and the weapon misses her by an inch but it's enough, he's totally open. She leaps, senbons ready in her hand with a simple flick of her wrist and she thrusts her hand forward, her hand grazes his abdomen and her whole body passes through. Thrown off balance, she turns midair and tries to roll away, tries to twist her body out of the way, doesn't dare to look behind her because she knows he's right here, tangible again and ready to–_

_The rod that stabs her right through the chest stops her hysterical thoughts. Hanging limp on the weapon, she feels her muscles go slack. Disorientated, she makes the sound of a sneer and far away, a sharp intake of breath but it's okay, it's okay because the sound of paper-wings getting close means that her ordeal is over and that she's going to be able to die after all. The muscles in her right arm are torn and her hand has been cleanly cut off but she can pull it off. She has performed one-handed-seals before even if the technique was different, less chakra-consuming and less complicated. It's her last time using hand-seals and chakra anyway, she may as well make it spectacular._

_Slowly, painfully, she raises her left hand to form the tiger-seal. She doesn't even know if it's going to work, his body is so different from the ones she used her technique on before, it has less iron in the blood. Maybe she should've conserved her chakra to use the_ _**1000 lives** _ _, it would've been more effective. It's not the time to be having regrets anyway and even if it's little comfort, she has taken precautions for their plan to work. She molds her chakra and feels it circulating throughout her whole body before concentrating on the rod stuck in her chest. He immediately understands her intent and tries to jump away but she's taken precautions. Her chakra flares and the shards implanted in his body react to the proximity and start extending, preventing him from making any move. Her chakra coats both of them, holds them frozen in their positions and she smiles as she realizes that in a few seconds, everything will be over._

 _The ocean opens beneath their feet and she feels herself fall freely, eyes raised toward the rainy sky but unable to see the neither the rain, nor the person suspended in the air over the abyssal chasm that has just been created. She feels chakra spike all around her and as she falls deeper, her hold on him breaking, she realizes that these are her last moments. She closes her eyes, rejoicing in the sensation of pure freedom that provides her the fall and smiles from ear to ear, happy for the first time in her life, not feeling like a caged-bird. The first detonation rings out, twenty-meters above her and others follow rapidly. As she falls deeper and deeper into the abyss, blind and deaf to the carnage above her, she thinks that all of this is her punition for committing the_ _**seven deadly sins** _ _._

 _She doesn't regret it_.

* * *

**Seven Deadly Sins**

Chapter I: Sloth

* * *

I do not know the purpose of my existence in this world. I do not need people, nor do people need me. It is supposed that God created human beings in the plural form and not a single human being, for them to interact with each other and acknowledge each other existence. I suppose that God created human as equals and never intended to make differences between them. I do not believe in God. I do not think God ever existed. If God truly exists, why would humans think that some are superior than others? God does not exist. If he truly exists, he would have answered my prayers as I begged him thousands– no millions of time to help me. He never came to my rescue; a mere human being did. That human being became my _God_.

I do not remember much of my early times. My physical needs made it impossible to think straight– not that I knew what ' _think straight_ ' meant at that time and it was truly the least of my concerns. My first coherent thought and not basic-need-orientated, was something akin to ' _warm_ '. I do not know what prompted it, probably the warmth of maternal love, but that it my first memory. I was tightly clutched in my mother embrace as she cradled me and I remember snuggling against her, prompted by an overwhelming feeling of love. I have truly loved my biological mother. She is in all my first memories and in the distorted perception of time that I had as a baby, she was omnipresent.

My first word was thus unsurprisingly ' _mama_ '. I cannot tell you what her expression was at the moment. Firstly, as per my elder brother's claims, I started to speak earlier than everybody else in our village and secondly, I was born almost blind. As my other senses started to sharpen, my eyesight remained blurry and almost completely dark. Truly I wasn't entirely blind, I could make out the vague and unshaped form of my mother. It was strange really, hearing everyone around me tell me that I was blind when I had no trouble whatsoever to move around and avoid obstacles. Mother only giggled as I crawled in my tiny bedroom, avoiding obstacles and brother was barely surprised.

It was weird. I couldn't see with my eyes but it didn't mean that I couldn't see. The room I was in was as clear as if I had seen him. I knew where the cradle, the closet and the door–not that I knew what a cradle, a closet and a door were at that moment–were and it seemed perfectly normal to both my mother and my brother. I had never seen their face, never would, and couldn't tell what they looked like and yet I knew what my bedroom looked like without seeing it. Not that it mattered at the moment, I was an infant, content with crawling until I passed out from exhaustion or until my mother picked me up as it was either feeding time or nap time.

I was a very quiet baby. I didn't cry much except when I was hungry, tired or my diaper was wet or full, but I didn't cry much. That is, until I reached two years. It started slowly, at first only weird motions all around me and sounds like static in my ears. Then it grew and grew and I could scream a whole night long because weird things around me moved and it was scary and the static wouldn't stop. Mother tried to soothe me by singing lullabies, bribe me with food of putting me in the bed between her and father. Nothing worked, though. Then one day, as mother was busy doing the laundry and I was crawling around, excited to find new things in the house, I made the statics stop.

It was pretty silly, really. I rolled on my back, reaching for the weird forms all around me when the statics started. Panicked and feeling tears well up, I reached for a weird form, grasped it and pulled. The statics stopped. Awed but amused, I was but a mere infant after all, I made a grab for all the weird forms, giggling as I caught them and pulled. It was strange, no matter how much strange forms I pulled, there were still many around me. I entertained myself playing with the weird things the whole afternoon. When my mother found me later, my hands were bleeding and there were laceration traces all over the palms. When I told her that I was playing with the weird forms around me, she made me promise never to play with them again and not to tell anyone, not even brother. I promised.

I remember little of my father. No, that is not accurate, I remember little of my father save for his burning hatred regarding me. My father loathed my whole existence. He glared at me with unconcealed repugnance and screamed at me when I was in the same room as me. Of course, my infant mind couldn't quite grasp the concept of someone hating me even less so my father. I had to learn the hard way. On my third birthday, I understood that my father detested me. I climbed on his laps when he was sitting in front of the table, distracted, and he slapped me so hard that my head bounced on the edge of the table before I fell to the ground. I was feeling lightheaded and on the verge to pass out when my father's shriek broke out. His words were gibberish but I picked up ' _no blood'_. Indeed, I wasn't bleeding, just concussed. When I asked my mother, later that day, she only told me that I was special and made me promise not to tell what had happened to anyone. I promised.

There isn't much to tell about my brother. Even now, I do not know my begetters' name, but his was Shin. Shin was 6 years older. He was kind-hearted, very kind-hearted and despite his youth, helped my mother with the chores. My father taught him to read and write and Shin spent all his days studying old scrolls. When mother was too tired or too busy to take care of me, Shin replaced her without any difficulty. He fed me, bathed me, changed my diapers and played with me. I loved Shin very much and he never complained about me claiming to be able to see when I was diagnosed blind by a certified doctor, or me starting to play with invisible things suddenly, or starting to cry because of things only I heard or never getting hurt when bumping into sharp objects. I loved Shin very much.

My first time outside the house, at 4, was a disaster. I realized very quickly that much like my father, people despised my existence very much. Storekeepers were never rude to my mother, eyed her with distrustful and judgmental eyes yes, but never rude. They were polite and very respectful. To me on the other end, they never bothered to try and hide it. I felt like a walking disease, the loathing and contempt were making me sick and when I started to shake against her, mother carried me the remaining of our trip outside despite the grocery bags. The only time Shin took me to play with child my age, they threw pebbles at us. I decided that I was fine home with my loving mother, caring brother and hating father. Home was nice. Not perfect but nice. I lived the first years of my life there.

* * *

**Seven Deadly Sins**

* * *

"Dear, this is Doctor." Mother says quietly, gesturing to the petite man sitting in front of us. "Good afternoon Doctor."

The Doctor nods but says nothing and I fidget behind mother's legs when his eyes shift and fix on me. There's no contempt, no hatred in his eyes, just vague curiosity and mostly disinterest. He stares at me for a _long_ time, as if trying to resolve a particularly difficult problem. He nods once, twice then turns to my mother and offers her a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Come back at 6." He says simply.

Mother nods, pats my hair with a soft smile and walks toward the door. I want to reach for her and tell her not to leave, not to leave me alone with a stranger but I don't. It would be unfair to mother who only did what I asked her to. Father will not teach me how to read and write but it's alright, because mother knows how to do that and teaches me. There are things that she cannot teach me however, history and geography and the mathematics that brother learns so she found me a teacher. I will never read properly as mother carved the letters on a stone table for me to be able to differentiate the characters and that is also how she taught me how to write. Mathematics may be out of my reach but history and geography can be taught. That is my teacher's role.

"Take a seat."

I comply and seat on a nearby stool. If he is surprised by my capacity to find my way without any difficulty, he says nothing. I turn in the direction I suppose he is and wait, not in any position to do anything anyway as I do not know this place nor do I know this person. The doctor moves, I can tell with the way his chair creaks when he gets up and he sits on the stool directly in front of me. At first, he says nothing and I do not know what he is up to and it scares me but after a while, as I start contemplating whether to run away or not, he finally says something.

"How about starting with the history of our country?"

I do not trust him but my thirst of knowledge is stronger, so I lower my guard.

* * *

" _Do you know what is the name of our country?"_

"…"

" _This country is the Land of Grass. It is a small country between two great nations, the Land of Fire and the Land of Earth, respectively eastward and westward. In the north is the Land of Waterfall and in the south, the Land of Rain. We are living in the most southerner region of the Land of Grass, the 'free region'. Due to a civil war at the end of the Second Shinobi War, the country was separated in two, with the north hosting_ Kusagakure _, a village that breeds shinobi and the south, free of shinobi and violence. The main village of the free region is Hoshino, 15 kilometers north from here. Only one Daimyo reign over our country but we can consider in a way, that the Land of Grass has two military leaders, the leader of Kusagakure in the north and the leader of Hoshino in the south. You do know what the Second Shinobi War is, right?"_

" _Yes."_

" _What about a shinobi? A daimyo?"_

" _I do know. Why was there a civil war?"_

" _Do you know what is the only thing the Land of Grass lacks, compared to the other nations?"_

"…"

" _Kekkei Genkai. No habitant of the Land of Grass possesses a Kekkei Genkai. Do you know what a Kekkei Genkai is?"_

" _No."_

" _Abilities passed down genetically. We own hidden techniques, passed down from generation to generation, but no Kekkei Genkai. Do you know why?"_

"…"

" _They slaughtered each other during the civil war. No, it is more accurate to say that they were savagely slaughtered and exterminated the perpetrators. I have read that it was a particularly violent conflict. Tension had spiked with the war and skirmishes finally bloomed in an all-out internal war. Thousands of civilians died and after the end of the war, half of the population that couldn't deal with the violence of shinobis anymore migrated south. Since then, the Land of Grass bow down before great nations as we don't have the power to oppose their formidable Kekkei Genkai. We don't have anymore."_

" _But…why? Why would they kill each other? They belonged to the same country, why?"_

"… _our time is up, it's been an hour already. I'll see you tomorrow."_

" _But–"_

" _See you tomorrow."_

* * *

" _I suppose that you do not know what Kekkei Genkai the Land of Grass owned prior the civil war."_

"…"

" _Well, I was expecting it. We, of the Land of Grass, owned four Kekkei Genkai. The Swift Release, the Dark Release, the Steel Release and the Crystal Release. Those were formidable techniques and the shinobi who owned it, most of all battle-orientated. No medics. After the end of the Warring States Period and the foundation of the first hidden villages, many of these Kekkei Genkai users reunited in clans, scattered within the Five Great Nations. With the hidden villages, there were no more use for shinobis of our country to remain miserable mercenaries. Most of the clans migrated. Some members of each clan who didn't agree remained in the Land of Grass."_

" _Why was there a c-civil war between the remaining population, then? They managed to get along, right?"_

" _That's the problem. The civil war wasn't triggered by an internal conflict. During the Second Shinobi World War, members or same clans and families faced each other on the battlefield. The members of the clans that had remained in Kusa were forced to fight and kill family who had left the Land of Grass. Among the Kekkei Genkai users remaining here, disputes split them up as some wanted to join those who had left, other wanted to convince them to come back and a last faction didn't even consider them as family anymore. The tentative alliance they had created to unify their handful of people burst and the different clans split up. Among them, a clan took a drastic decision…"_

"… _Doctor? …Doctor is there something wrong?"_

"… _it's nothing. What was I saying?"_

" _A clan took a decision without consulting the others as they thought it was bestest for them all."_

"… _oh. Yes, that's what happened. Bestest doesn't exist, it's best. To prevent the disputes from fueling the Great Nations' troops, the Crystal Release users decided to massacre the other clans, as it would prevent them from joining the 'traitors' and put the Land of Grass in a dire situation."_

" _The… the civil war?"_

" _Yes. To protect the Land of Grass and its inhabitants, the Crystal Release users exterminated 150 members of the three other clans, both within and outside the Land of Grass. They were ruthless, they killed everyone bearing a genetic affiliation with them, children or elderly, regardless of their age. Coupled with the heavy loss of the war, the three clans found themselves weakened and with only a handful of survivors. That's when the civil war broke out. The three clans allied to fight the Crystal Release users both within and outside the Land of Grass. They succeeded… or rather, tore each other apart. Seeing the violence of the confrontations, the Daimyo created a law… that forbad any Kekkei Genkai users in the Land of Grass."_

" _That's…"_

" _Horrible, I know."_

" _B-But… what if innocent children are born with a Kekkei Genkai…? What if they are long-descendant of these people and–"_

" _That's the law. We do not enjoy killing children more than you do, but that's the law. Kekkei Genkai caused us a lot of problem in the past and we do not want such bloody happenings again. They are killed young, whenever they show a sign of developing a Kekkei Genkai. It is sad but it is what we do to protect ours."_

"…"

"…"

"… _I-I… I need to head back h-home. M-Mama… Mama is… s-she is–"_

" _Yes, it's time. I will see you tomorrow."_

* * *

" _We talked about Kekkei Genkai last time, didn't we?"_

"… _yes."_

" _Let us talk about chakra this time then."_

"… _chakra?"_

" _Yes, chakra. I am no expert, but every human being has chakra. It is an energy produced by our body that circulates between the organs through chakra coils. Chakra is a combination of physical and spiritual energy. When the human body develops, it creates a chakra system that enables chakra to flow evenly throughout the whole body through the 361 tenketsus. I, for my part, am really interested in the chakra pathway system so I have extended my research a bit. Have you ever heard of the term 'ratio'?"_

"… _I haven't."_

" _I thought so. A common misconception is that the physical and spiritual chakra flowing through our body are even for everyone. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. That's what ratio is for. Ratio is calculated on a 10 property. An average civilian ration is 8:2 with 8 for physical energy and 2 for spiritual energy. It prevents the use of jutsu as the use of chakra is impossible since the gap between the two energies is too large. Do you follow me so far?"_

" _I think I do. There's not enough spiritual energy for the two to mix and transform into chakra, right?"_

" _Yes. The average shinobi ratio is 6:4 with 6 for physical energy and 4 for spiritual energy. Shinobis are stronger than average people because even if their ratio is almost completely balanced, they still have more physical energy. Chakra is possible, the two can be mixed since the gap isn't that wide, they remain physically superior to the norm though. Do you know what sensor type shinobis are?"_

" _I don't."_

" _Sensors are shinobis that can detect people by sensing their chakra. They don't need to_ see _their target, they just feel it sometimes miles away. Sensors are also shinobis born with a perfect ratio. 5 for physical energy and 5 for spiritual energy. Since the two energies are the same level, they expand their spiritual energy out of their body to pick up any physical energy around. Then, there is the pure and absolute mystery that is the Uzumaki Clan. Their ratio is 4:6 with 4 for physical energy and 6 for spiritual energy. This slight unbalance doesn't mean a physical weakness however, quite the opposite. The fact that they own more spiritual energy has gifted them with an extremely powerful life force. This Clan is the sole, not quite extinguished to have an unbalance that doesn't cause them harm."_

" _It means there are others?"_

" _It is quite complicated. People who have visual jutsu are sometimes in that case. Most of them are born with a ratio of 5:5 but some members among clans might be born with a ratio of 4:6 without it hampering their ability to use chakra. It is said that the Crystal Release users, the Oguro Clan, was rumored to have an imbalance even greater than the Uzumaki Clan with a ratio of 3:7. Supposedly, it made their chakra more potent and they were said to have insane chakra reserves–not as great as the Uzumaki though, never as great–that made up for physical disabilities. To compensate with the gap between physical and spiritual energy, as unlike physical energy, spiritual energy can't fill the body and make it function, the body was forced to adapt and it created disabilities. Fortunately, not distorted chakra coils as it sometimes does with civilian children, but psychomotor disabilities. Members of the Oguro Clan often were long-ranged fighters because of these disabilities, as well as amazing sensors."_

"…"

"…"

"… _p-psycho… psychomotor?"_

"… _go home and research that. We'll continue tomorrow."_

* * *

" _Doctor?"_

" _Yes?"_

" _Are you the one who diagnosed me blind?"_

"… _I am."_

" _I'm not blind."_

" _Would you… care to elaborate…?"_

" _I… I don't_ see _things. W-Well, I do see them, but not like mama or Shin-nii do. I don't know what they look like, I can't see their exact shape or the details, but I know they are here, I… I_ see _them. My eyes don't see them but I know what they look like even if it's vaguely._ "

"… _I see. How quaint indeed. Would you mind telling me what objects are in this room?"_

" _I'm not lying."_

" _Of course not."_

" _There's a desk in the far-left corner, a cabinet across from it and a bed near the window on our right. Your desk is… two feet away, behind me? I'm sorry, I don't really know with the distances."_

" _How very peculiar indeed. Your depth-perception is indeed completely off but despite your minor blindness–and I have diagnosed minor blindness because no matter what you see, not being able to see with your eyes is called being blind–you are indeed able to see what is around you. Are you looking at things with your eyes?"_

" _It's… hard to explain. I can't see all the time and I can't remember well but I think I haven't always been able to see. It's just that… there are these things around me. I don't know, it's like tiny shards of something, flickering all around me and showing me things."_

" _You mean to tell me that…_ _ **flickering shards of whatever are showing you things?**_ _"_

" _Yes."_

"…"

" _Do you believe me, Doctor?"_

" _In fact, yes, I do believe you."_

" _Do you know what's going on with me then?"_

" _I… do not. My apologies."_

" _It's okay. Thank you Doctor, for teaching all those things to me and being nice with me."_

" _Do not be naïve. Kindness has nothing to do with this, behind every human being is a motive. No one will ever act out of true kindness, not even people who you share blood with. The human being is a flighty and manipulative creature, do not foolishly disillusion yourself with wishful thinking."_

" _Even you, Doctor? Do you also have ulterior motives?"_

" _Especially me."_

* * *

  **Seven Deadly Sins** _  
_

* * *

Doctor was weird like that. His voice was kind yet chillingly detached and he stared at me with clinical indifference. Sometimes, his eyes glinted with interest or something deeper, darker, but he never did stare at me with distrustful, judgmental eyes–as he probably did not trust me in the first place–only cool and polite interest in his best moments. Apart from mother and Shin-nii, Doctor was my third favorite person, probably also because he was the only other person to willingly interact with me. My lessons with doctor lasted 7 months, until 2 months after my fifth birthday. Doctor taught me absolutely everything he could on every subject he knew and I avidly drank in the knowledge.

Maybe if I hadn't been so curious, maybe if my thirst of knowledge wasn't so impossible to quench, things would have remained the way they were and wouldn't have taken a wrong turn. Maybe if I had kept on seeing Doctor in a detached way like he did, there wouldn't have been any problem. After all, Doctor was no friend, no family member, not even a distant relative. Of course, I had to hold some affection toward him. Of course, I would be compelled to. Doctor was the only human being excerpt from mother and Shin-nii who saw me as a fellow human being and not a freak. He talked to me, offered me cookies and drinks. Retrospectively, it was probably just out of politeness but my young, 5 years old self saw it as affection. Doctor was no liar, he had made his intentions clear. I just wasn't prepared for such cold detachment.

It happened on the seventeenth day of the second month after my birthday. Brutally, violently, bloodily, my whole world came crashing down in just a few hours. It started with me deciding to visit Doctor without informing mother. I had never left the house on my own before but it turned out just fine and I made my way over to the clinic without any problem, skillfully avoiding the villagers. Our village was small, too small to be threatening and we weren't particularly wealthy but I didn't lack anything, nor did mother or Shin-nii. Our life was simple, we lived without any problems and it was fine the way it was, I wouldn't have minded growing up in this clearly hostile universe so long as my precious people remained with me.

I sneaked inside the clinic, Doctor worked here on his own anyway so it wasn't like anyone could stop me, and easily made my way toward his office. I remember tiptoeing to his office, afraid of invoking his wrath if he was busy with a patient and stopping in front of the slightly open door, pressing my ear against the panel to see through the gap and hear what was happening inside. I couldn't see Doctor in my position but there was another man here, dark-haired and faired-skin, his back to me and everything about him screaming familiarity. I pressed my body closer to the panel and their hushed voice reached my ears.

" _It's going too slow_." The unknown man was saying, voice accusing and a hint of distress in his tone. " _You said you would take responsibility for that,_ _ **Doctor**_ _, and now is the time!_ "

" _We can't rush_." The Doctor answered slowly, voice unnervingly calm. " _We've got to prepare her slowly, calmly, patiently, until the right time has come and she doesn't question us anymore_."

I remember feeling uneasy. I was aware that I probably shouldn't have eavesdrop on their conversation but was too curious for my own good. I knew nothing about Doctor, his likes, his dislikes or even the people he associated with outside the clinic. I wanted to know more about Doctor and observe the familiar man as I knew I should've been able to put a name on him. The conversation was also intriguing me. Who would they be talking about? It was my first hearing someone being referred to so… _lifelessly_. It almost seemed like they weren't talking about a person but an item. All of this felt _wrong_ but curiosity was stronger and prevented me from running away like my instincts dictated me to.

" _Your daughter has shown more intellect than I expected her to. It's going to be trickier than I thought_." Doctor mused, and his white coat briefly entered the edge of my range of vision.

" _Watch your mouth, that thing is not my daughter,"_ the unknown man snapped coldly, " _merely a tool necessary to our projects_. _You–_ "

My hands muffled the strangled sound I made at that moment but did nothing to subdue my panic. Too shaken up to think correctly and be as discreet as I should have been, I drew back too quickly and my shoulder banged against the panel. I wasn't fast enough to move out of the way when the door was yanked open, so violently that it almost unhinged and found myself face to face with two familiar, furious, viridian orbs. The same as mine. My father looked down on me, face carefully blank but eyes flashing angrily. His hands were balled into fist and his body angled strangely, as if bracing himself for a physical confrontation. Roughly, he grabbed my forearm and yanked me inside, door snapping shut behind me. Doctor was sitting at his desk, one eyebrow arched in obvious confusion.

" _Why, hello there._ " Doctor greeted me nonchalantly.

I didn't say anything as father dragged me toward a nearby stool and dumped me on it. Looking at him in the eyes seemed like the most difficult thing in the world at that moment, as I felt too ashamed to be able to bring myself to do so. I had been caught eavesdropping on a discussion that I should've never heard. Despite already knowing his blatant aversion toward me, a vocal confirmation of the fact that father did not love me hurt. I had felt like whatever distaste I could inspire him, he would still see me as his daughter as he had _conceived_ me. My father did not love me. I was nothing but a tool in his eyes and the tool was going to rebel and be the cause of his early demise.

" _Were you eavesdropping?_ " Father asked harshly, emerald eyes cold as he considered me.

I could only weakly nod.

" _Well, what's done is done_." Doctor sighed and there was a hint of exasperation in his voice. " _It saves us quite a lot of trouble if I might say_. _Then, why don't we make things straight? The truth being, it is your father here who asked me to take care of your education. The more knowledgeable you are, the more useful you can be_."

I stared uncomprehendingly as Doctor cocked his head to the side in faux absent-mindedness, eyebrows raising slightly. The man huffed, as if suddenly annoyed by the discussion and offered a smile. I had never seen him smile genuinely before but now, it felt even more faux, even more disgusting than before. The man glanced at father who was standing between me and the door, like a faithful sentry, then his eyes settled on me again.

" _Do you want to know a secret?_ " Doctor asked in a conspiratorial tone, his eyes full of mirth as he chuckled over a joke only he could understand. " _Do you want to know why the villagers watch you warily? Why your own father denied your existence and your mother tries everything to keep you hidden inside that house?_ "

I wanted to press my hands against my ears and scream at him to stop but my limbs were unresponsive and I couldn't advert my eyes from his smiling face.

" _What if I were to tell you… what if I were to tell you that you are the exact thing this country forbad? Regular human beings do not_ _ **see**_ _when they are diagnosed minor blindness. Regular human beings get hurt when they fall on pointy things. Regular human beings do not get their hands scratched when playing with_ _ **flickering shards of whatever**_ _. You are the exact thing this country fears and abhors. You have a bloodline limit– no, you have_ _ **the**_ _bloodline limit._ "

I blanked out, unable to process his words. I thought it impossible. I thought it was a lie. I pressed my hands against my ears and shook my head in a weak protest, refusing to hear that truth– no, _those lies_. Bloodline limits were _hated_ in Kusa, I couldn't, wouldn't accept the truth as even if it answered some questions, it made me an automatic enemy of my village. It painted a bright red target on me and I didn't want that. I wanted to live freely, happily with mother and Shin-nii. I tried to deny the truth as much as I could even though I knew there was no point in the end. I was a Kekkei Genkai user and I already knew of which one.

" _Your father and I have great projects for you_." Doctor kept going, ignoring my unbalanced emotional state, " _that is the reason why you have not been reported to the Elder yet. You are absolutely right, killing children for possessing such incredible abilities is stupid. Our country has been looked down on and stepped upon by the Great Nations but it will not remain that way. We are going to make sure that the Land of Grass finds the prestige it has lost. Us, the free region? First, we will seize the authority of this country. The leader of the hidden village is weak, bowing his head to greater Nations is shameful. After that, we will assert our strength again. Bloodline limits don't die so easily after all_."

I raised blank eyes toward Doctor whose smile grew.

" _You are our tool after all, aren't you_?"

* * *

" _ **No man, who is not inflamed by vain-glory into enthusiasm, can flatter himself that his single, unsupported, desultory, unsystematic endeavors are of power to defeat the subtle designs and united Cabals of ambitious citizens. When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle."**_

* * *

As much as I wish to, I don't regret it. _Never_. I have no faith in God, I do not fear divine punishment or whatnot. I did it without even minding, realizing the deed only after it was accomplished. My five years old self felt mostly horror and self-disgust but also an underlying apathy that scared me back then. Blood was splattered everywhere and the two bodies of both father and Doctor had been reduced to a heap of broken limbs. Doctor's head would probably be the first thing to be noticed upon entering the room, as it lied atop the pile, mouth open and eyes wide, lifeless. Father would be harder to recognize as his facial features had been completely erased. Among the mess, tiny rose shards of glass-like matter, long enough to be considered needles and sturdy enough not to break even when stepped upon, were scattered everywhere.

I killed father and Doctor and didn't even regret it that much. _My father hated me after all and Doctor only used me to serve his purposes_. I had every right to kill them, had I not? They were in the wrong, not I. I did nothing bad after all, only protected myself. I convinced myself that it was for the best as they would have undoubtedly hurt me while using me so I only made sure that it would never happen, I only preserved myself. I did nothing wrong, I only protected myself. I tried to convince myself that my actions were for the best. _The apathy was growing_.

I went home after that, coming face to face with a distressed Shin-nii who had been looking for me over the past half an hour. He took one look at my bloody clothes and haggard expression, scooped me up and ran inside, hurriedly taking off my dirty clothes and dumping me into cold water. He disappeared after making sure that I was gripping the bathtub tight enough not to slip and drown. He only left for a handful seconds, disappearing with the foul-smelling clothes and reappeared soon after, kneeling beside me and embracing me, not minding the water. We remained in that position for a few minutes, him whispering soothing words as I broke down and sobbed in his arms. That night, Shin-nii bathed me, fed me and put me to the bed. That night, I slept soundly, easily forgetting my crime.

My deed sow discord in our village. When father and Doctor's bodies were discovered, the proof that the village was harboring a bloodline limit user was undisputable and it meant that a murderer– _me_ –was roaming free. Mistrust grew in people's heart and false accusations started to rain down. Three people wrongly accused were executed and grown-ups started to consider eliminating all the children. A wave of chaos shook our small village, the Elder closed all the boarders and forbad anyone to leave the village, be it to gather supply or fetch water. Paranoia was ruling our life, friends started to accuse themselves and attacks on innocent children made themselves more frequent. We were bathing in chaos.

Mother stayed in bed for three whole weeks. The first day, as the Elder came to our home to announce father's death, she broke down and remained motionless next to the coffee table for 5 whole days. No matter how much I cried and begged her to move, she never did. Shin-nii took care of me. I can't remember how he reacted when he heard our father's death, but I know he must have been aware of my crime. He said nothing. _He protected me_. 4 days later, mother finally moved. I thought that she would finally snap out of her despondent state but she only dragged herself to her bedroom and lied on a futon. She remained there for another week. I stopped trying to make her answer after the second week. I desperately clung to Shin-nii as he was the only one who remained of our defective family.

At the end of the third week, mother went missing. Shin-nii didn't exit the house anymore as the outside was too dangerous and we had to live of our meager reserves. By the end of the 23th day, we had nothing to eat anymore. Shin-nii had already been cutting his portions so that I could eat enough to be full. By the eleventh day, I only ate half a meal a day and had to remain lying down as I had no energy left to move around. With mother not eating, only drinking what Shin-nii forced down her throat, we lasted a bit more than expected. After the 23th day, we _starved_. We had never been wealthy but as the life in the village was healthy, food was easily found. From that day, I learnt what the feeling of hunger was.

The confrontations outside gradually died down. By the 27th day, everything outside was eerily silent. Still, Shin-nii despite his growling stomach and the dark rings under his eyes, forbad me to go outside as there was no guarantee that the situation had improved. People might just be hiding and waiting for an unsuspecting victim. He even refused to go outside to look for mother, choosing to protect me rather than mother. Seems like he loved me very much, loved me to the extent of ignoring the blood on my hand and the woman who had given birth to us. I was too starved to think properly at that time, but I felt warm in his embrace. So I closed my eyes and willed myself to forget everything.

Mother came back on the 29th day. _Along with half the village_. I stared with half-lidded eyes as she stopped on the doorstep and observed the both of us. Shin-nii was tensed and definitely uncomfortable, he had angled himself so that I didn't have a direct view of our mother. Our biological mother said something but talked too fast and too low for my foggy mind to catch up. Brother held me tighter and stood up, silent. Mother started to shriek, her breathing became labored and she broke down in tears. A man stepped up beside her, laid a gentle but firm hand on her shoulder then stared straight in our direction. Shin-nii stepped back slowly and looked down, his emerald eyes–the same as mine–observing my round face. _He smiled_.

" _I love you_." He whispered breathlessly, lowering me to the ground.

I tugged his pant, not understanding what was happening but scared all of a sudden. Shin-nii flashed me a small smile, his eyes twinkling with unrestrained, unconditional love. The man next to mother lunged, forcing brother's attention to snap back in front of him. As he ordered me to " _get the hell out of here_ ", I turned on my heels and ran like the coward I was, clinging to a life that I didn't deserve. I threw a look back as I reached the back door, taking in the sight of my brother's body sagging against the man and the red stain growing on his dirty clothes. I turned back and _I ran_. I abandoned him, he who ignored my sins and loved me even as I tore our family apart. _I love you_ , followed me as I ran blindly, tears obscuring my vision. _I loved you_.

I didn't make it far. Adults were waiting for me down the street, expressions frozen in grimaces of disgust. A stone stopped my mad run, painfully colliding with my shoulder. My momentum was stopped short and I fell on my back, right hand massaging the aching shoulder. I remained frozen as children exited their home to stand beside their parents and stared at me with angry eyes. The adults who had invested our home finally caught up behind me and among them, mother was hunched forwards and her shoulders were shaking.

" _Freak!_ "

" _Monster_!"

" _Murderer!_ "

A stone accompanied each insult, all thrown with burning hatred with the sole aim to _hurt_. I remember the shame, the self-disgust, the fear and most of all, the sick feeling growing in my stomach. My body burnt, the first twenty stones bounded back harmlessly but then, for the first time, I felt _pain_. _Real pain_. Not just a disagreeable aching, I felt like my limbs were falling off and a stream of tears was dripping down my face as my mouth was opened in a silent scream. I curled up at each insult, each stone, wishing nothing more than to let myself be swallowed by the ground just so the pain would stop. The sick feeling grew, igniting my limbs with a different fire than the pain.

I remember them all clearly. Soothing words whispering in my ears, a cacophony of gentle voices calling my name, ghostly hands caressing my inflamed members. I remember closing my eyes, embracing the soothing feeling and clutching the gentle hands. I remember giving myself to the feeling of cold yet comforting matter growing all over my body, engulfing me and snatching me away in unfathomable darkness. I remember giving myself to the strange feeling I had refuse till now. _I embraced my bloodline limit_.

When I came to, everything was silent. I was lying on my side and my body ached. I sat up slowly, realizing that for the first time in my life, _I could see_. Not through flickering shards of whatever like I had explained doctor, I could see with my own eyes. I could see the ground– _brown_ , my mind supplied helpfully as I marveled at the color–and my… _hands_. Warily, I raised my hands toward my eyes. Not only the hands but also the forearms… _my whole arms_ were covered with a rose-glass-like matter. _Crystal_. My arms– not only my arms, my legs too had turned into crystal. Carefully, I traced the strange matter, feeling oddly content.

A sharp intake of breath snapped me out of my reverie. The villagers were standing there, motionless, horror growing on their faces. For a few seconds, everything remained still, me staring at the villagers in fear, the villagers staring at me with terror. The standstill broke when a burly made a jerky motion, a stone clutched in his hand as he took aim. Fearing the pain, I raised a hand to protect myself. Half a step in front of the man, a crystal pillar sprouted and impaled both him and the old man behind him. Chaos broke out as a woman let out a piercing scream and several villagers lunged, knives and forks raised threateningly, aiming to kill.

Even if I as there, in the eye of the storm, it happened so fast that I feel like everything just skipped forward. One second, half of the villagers were rushing toward, ready to kill and the other half was running the other way, too scared to deal with me, and the next, the world had become pink, crystal had engulfed everything, recovered houses and roads, encased bodies as if it wanted to conserve them and shredding other to pieces. The crystal that should've been a pale rose had turned almost red because of all the blood coating it. In the middle of the chaos, beside me who was undoubtedly the source of the massacre, mother was standing still, spared by the magnificent yet deadly crystal.

I don't remember the expression on her face.

" _Mama_ _…_ " I whispered slowly, getting to my feet and wincing at the throb of pain in my left ankle when I tried to put weight to it.

I can't remember the expression of her face.

" _Mama_ …" I said again, staggering as I tried to make my way toward her.

I reached toward her but mother scrambled backward, losing her balance and falling on her behind in her panic attempts to get as far away from me as she could.

 _There was nothing but pure and utter fear on her face_.

" _You're not my daughter,_ " mother– no, the woman murmured, watching me with wide eyes, " _you're not my daughter, you're not my daughter, you're not my daughter, you're…_ _ **you're a monster**_."

I halted my steps, staring at the woman. _She didn't want me_. She didn't want me anymore, all this because of my stupid bloodline limit. But it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault that I had to kill the villagers or that my heart felt like a dead weight in my chest. It was this village, those people. _Why…?_ Why did I have to endure all of this when all I wanted was to live happily, freely with Shin-nii and mother? Why did it have to come to this? Why didn't I feel any remorse, anything but a hollow pain my chest? _My heart was cold_.

"Goodbye mama," I whispered softly, tears gathering in my eyes, "sweet dreams."

She died in an instant. Not messily like the rest of that rotten village, her heart stopped because of the lack of oxygen and her body went cold, but the beautiful, flower-shaped coffin engulfing her body preserved it. Crying, I caressed the coffin where mother's face was, distantly registering that my limbs had turned back to normal. Stripped from my newly acquired eyesight and suddenly dizzy, I took a step to the side and threw up. First, it was only bile but then blood mixed with it as my intestines churned painfully and all my strength left me. Breathless, I rolled on my side, members twitching with exhaustion and sick because of the foul smells floating in the air.

Feeling vaguely sad but mostly empty, I closed my eyes, wondering if I was going to die. Doctor was dead, father was dead, Shin-nii was dead, mother was dead and all the villagers were also dead. I was alone, all alone in this world that did not want me, that had set up rules to get rid of people like me. That was too cruel. _This world was too cruel_. What had I done to deserve that? Why would that world try to get rid of me when my life had barely started? In this world… _**I was unwanted, my existence was unneeded**_. I might as well die and remove my sinful existence. I might as well–

" _Are you giving in to the pain? Are you going?_ "

I took me a whole minute to realize that this voice wasn't in my head, that an actual person was standing beside me and… talking to me. I opened my eyes tiredly, taking in the sight of a long, black cloak with red clouds and a pale hand, still, near my face. I tilted my eyes to the side to have a full view of the stranger. A man– no, a boy, who couldn't be a day over 17 knelt beside me and was looking down on me with the strangest eyes I had ever seen. He bore three studs though the sides of his upper nose and one spike stud on each end of the bottom lip. I knew that my skin was fairly pale but he could pass for a walking corpse, as his skin had absolutely no color. The strangest… were the purple ripple-patterned like eyes he was staring at me with. His face held no emotion but there was something strange with the way his hand hovered above my face.

" _Are you going?_ " He asked again, tilting his head to the side as I remained motionless.

" _I want to live,_ " I rasped after a few seconds of silence, meeting his emotionless eyes head on, " _I want to live and I want to be needed, I want my existence to be recognized as worthwhile. I want to live_."

" _This world is full of pain, of death. People hurt themselves, kill and avenge. That cycle of death and hatred is endless. As long as you live, you will suffer, unable to break free from this eternal spiral and yet you still want to live?_ "

Slowly, his voice became distant until I couldn't even hear a word, only being able to see his lips move. I remained motionless even as his cold hands reached for me and grabbed my shoulders. Barely conscious, I closed my eyes for a moment when he lifted me up and clutched his cloak as he held me against him. My head was resting against the left side of his chest, with my eyes closed and the silence around us I should've been able to but I couldn't hear any heartbeat. _There was nothing_.

" _You are a monster_." The man's voice was cold and his words heartless. " _You are a monster but that is not a bad thing. This world is full of monster, the only thing that you have to do is to choose what kind of monster you want to be._ "

Despite my sluggish mind and fleeting consciousness, I managed to raise my head toward him, unable to advert my eyes from his violet eyes that, in my distorted perception of things, seemed to be rippling. It was mesmerizing and it actually appeased my pounding heart. Weakly, I reached toward his face, hands twitching when I realized that the little shard all around me where going away, leaving me in the dark for the first time of my life. I couldn't see. I couldn't see but I didn't care, I was dying anyway so I would never need to see again anymore.

" _Even… you…?_ " I whispered hoarsely, latching on to the first thing my hands found, it was cold and unmoving.

" _Especially me_."

I giggled, amused despite myself by the irony of the situation and the familiarity of his words. My giggling soon turned in painful coughing as I doubled over. I let out a strangled sob as I realized that my life was slowly leaving me, like water running between my fingers as I was unable to stop it. Suddenly tired with this vain struggle for life–even if I _did_ survive, no one would want me in the end so why bother?–I closed my eyes again, giving up on this life and on this world.

" _Thank… you… mister…_ " I said, feeling cold.

There was no one to mourn me, no one to grieve for me, no one even aware of me save for that strange man who didn't move, only stayed there and remained frozen as I breathed my last breath in his arms. He had no obligation toward me, he was only passing by when the tragedy happened, he could have dropped me and go on his way without acknowledging my existence. Instead of ignoring my sorrow, instead of ignoring my death, he held me tighter, turned on his heels and left the village without a word, nothing remaining after his departure but a huge crater and in the middle of it, a flower like coffin made of crystal in which a woman was resting; if in peace or not, no one could tell.


	2. Greed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how much you're given, you always keep yearning for more. Or how Pain keeps abusing his ability for domestic use, trying and failing to give his Paths depth.

**Seven Deadly Sins**

* * *

" _Will you die for me, if I ask you to?"_

_Somewhere in the scraps of memories that remain, she sees a young boy, probably not older than 12, looking at her with a gentle face, his eyes warm. His emerald eyes are the same shade as hers but his are twinkling with mirth and full of life when hers are dead and empty. She knows that this boy must have loved her a lot and yet, she can't even remember his name. Sometimes, she dreams of hazy figures, the warm embrace and soothing hands of a woman, the detached yet amused voice of a man, the rough and strong palms of a man. Sometimes, she dreams of a place, far, so far away from here and so different, so peaceful. It feels like home. When she wakes up, those dreams are long forgotten and only the distorted image of the boy remains._

" _I will."_

_Sometimes, a cold and calloused hand cups her cheek when she answers and when it happens, she closes her eyes, basking in the warm feelings his acknowledgment causes in the pit of her stomach. Even if it means throwing her life away, she'll do anything for him. She gave up on this life a long time ago anyway, she's now his and his only, he holds her pitiful life in the palm of his hand and she's perfectly fine with that. He doesn't even need to ask, if it means being useful then she'll do it without a second thought. After everything she has done, after all the people she has killed and the blood she has on her hands, one more person isn't going to change anything._

"… _come here."_

_She follows him. After a few months, the dreams stop. She can't even remember the boy she was obsessed with. Her only focus becomes the man in front of her and she closes her heart to anything that isn't him. It feels cold._

* * *

**Seven Deadly Sins**

Chapter II:  _Greed_

* * *

The climate in the land of Rain is so unlike everything I have ever seen that it seems like a different world. It rains almost constantly and it's hard to progress on foot with the ground being flooded and turned into deadly swamps. Shinobi probably don't have trouble with the conditions as they can coat their feet with chakra and walk on water but it's a different story for civilians. Some roads are so submerged that it's waist-deep and way too dangerous for anyone to go through. The terrain is way too dangerous for anyone to venture on the roads without prior knowledge of the layout of the vicinity and appropriate equipment. To make a long story short, compared to wherever is that place I come from but can't remember, the land of Rain is  _hell on earth_.

The rain just won't stop. It's hard enough with the impracticable soil, but the rain is also there, rendering the conditions even more miserable. If the land of Wind suffers scarcity and misery as the climate is way too hot and sunny for any crop to flourish, how better is the land of Rain that can't develop its agriculture since there isn't any sun? Of course, unlike the land of Wind, the land of Rain manages to take advantage of this disastrous climate, in what way, I know not, but the heads have managed to avoid recession so far as unlike the land of Wind, the land of Rain is independent of the other countries and does not need anyone to make its economy flourish. The land or Rain is self-sufficient enough, that it allows them to maintain the isolationist policy.

When I open my eyes after what feels like an eternity, my body feels cold. My hair is drenched and sticking to my face and even though a warm cloak is covering my body, I'm shivering so bad that it feels like I'm having a seizure. I remain motionless for a whole 5 minutes, unable to muster the strength to move. My limbs feel atrophied and my mind is foggy, unable to clear up. Unable to move for the time being, I content with listening droplets of rain glide over an invisible barrier, preventing rain from soaking the inside of the cave.

" _You're awake_."

My eyes automatically follow the sound toward the speaker and surprisingly, my blurry vision until now zeroes in on them without any difficulty. My sight is not quite as horrendous as it was before, but still not clear enough to make out their features. It's a male, as far as I can tell, the voice is too deep to be that of a female and his stature too broad. His only distinguishable trait is a mop of short and spiky apricot-colored hair. Apart from that, purple-colored, ripple-patterned eyes seem to glow in the darkness of the cave, the only source of light.

I open my mouth to answer him but close it when I realize that I have no answer.  _What…? Why…? Who…?_  With a growing panic, I realize that I can't form any thoughts, not because I am unable to or do not want to but simply because I have nothing to think about. My mind is completely blank, there's absolutely nothing. Blankly, I raise my left hand to observe it and have to consciously remind myself that my eyes are naturally dysfunctional and this minor blindness has nothing to do with my current predicament.  _Minor blindness?_

I start when the man – _no_ , rather  _boy_  crouches in front of me, his strange eyes glowing even brighter up close. He grasps my chin before I can even blink, his hand is freezing and I shiver even if I can barely feel my limbs because of the cold. His grip is nowhere near gentle but it's not painful, just firm enough to hold me in place. His hand slides from my chin to my shoulder and I stumble forward as he lifts me up on my feet. Confusedly, I raise my head to peer at his face, what for I cannot tell as I cannot see but misplaced curiosity urges me to do so.

He seems even younger up close; tinier and with that heartbreaking sort of fragility that people who have lost everything emit. This strange fragility seems misplaced on him though, it should not be here, not when every little tiny gesture seems perfectly controlled not to waste any unnecessary energy, not when every move screams lethality. He looks like he can snap my neck if he stares long enough or if he sneezes too loud but somehow, with the lifeless way he is standing and the strange exhausted quality to his gestures, I can't possibly picture him sneezing. His very presence seems to scream danger even when his natural complexion seems so weak.

Wriggling my hands in inexplicable anxiousness, I try to meet what I assume to be his eyes, the only source of light around us. Strange that eyes would glow in the dark but then again, there is something wrong with his whole person. Dangerous when he looks so sick, already exhausted by life when he is so young, there is something appealing and also absolutely revolting about him, like a candle in the darkness, the only source of light you can't help but gravitate to but can't possibly touch for fear of being burn. He's so much more than a candle light however, so much more dangerous, so much more fragile that he looks like he could shatter at any second when his strength seems crushing, suffocating even.

Wordlessly, he stretches out his hand toward me, his eyes focused on the entrance of the cavern, seeing things that I can't catch sight of no matter how much I squint my eyes. Strangely at ease in his presence, I slide my hand in his, shivering when freezing fingers brush against my warm skin. He glances at me when our skins make contact, maybe startled by the difference in temperature but says nothing, only tugs our linked hands until I am standing right next to him, invading his personal space.

His movements are too polished and too fast for me to understand what happens, one second we are both standing next to each other in a damp cave and the next, I am pressed against his chest, the rain pounding on us as he leaps outside, flexes his legs to absorb the impact when he lands on something–a bough? Leaves rustle slightly when he leaps again–and sails through the air. Pressed against the left side of his chest, I realize that I cannot hear his heartbeat. His chest doesn't even raise to fill with oxygen; he is not breathing.

Intrigued, I poke his chest slightly, wondering if he hasn't any internal organs or if they simply do not function. A part of me realizes that I should be alarmed that a walking corpse, there is no other way to describe him than that, is carrying me around to god knows where. Yet, everything feels so distant, as if these concerns do not matter anymore.  _What would you do even if you cared?_  My subconscious seems to be saying, mocking and as detached as me. Faintly, I wonder if my apathy is due to the fact that I may be a walking corpse like him. I cannot seem to care.

I cannot tell how long we travel. The only thing that I know is that the cold is getting to me, even pressed against him there is no warmth as corpses do not emit body heat. I lose control of my jawbone first; my teeth start to chatter uncontrollably. My muscles go next, as they shiver erratically no matter how hard I try to force them still. Then, there is my sight that becomes blurry, dark spots dance at its edges. My mind betrays me last, conjures images of people I do not know, of distorted voices and I become unable to dissociate illusions from reality. My treacherous mind allows the indecipherable words of the boy carrying me to reach my ears before I black out.

When I wake up again, my position hasn't changed, my tiny body is still pressed against the still developing body of a teenager. My body feels numb and my eyes are burning with unsheathed tears even when I feel no sadness nor pain. The boy's hold on me shifts so that I am now pressed against his right side, his arm securing me in place as he progresses through a long corridor. Have we already reached our destination? I do not know how long I was unconscious but it couldn't have been more than a single hour.

" _Konan_." The boy calls out, his voice deeper than it should actually be, quiet even when the single word seems to echo strongly.

At first, there is nothing. Then the sound of clapping wings reaches us and rather than a horde of birds as I have been expecting, hundreds of paper butterflies fill the empty corridor, lazily circling the two of us. The papers fly around some more before merging, soon replaced by an individual who can't quite be considered a woman, not yet at least. Nothing much excerpt her face can be seen, the rest hidden underneath a long black coat adorned by red swirling clouds. She seems young, a bit older that the boy carrying me perhaps but her physical disposition makes her older. She has the same exhausted quality to her person as the boy carrying me. She seems tired, done with life.

The boy's hold on me shifts again, he slings a hand around my middle to turn me so that I can face the woman instead of him and she easily plucks me out of his grasp. Her hold is softer and rather than encasing me like he did, she simply makes sure than my side is pressed against hers so that I can face both of them. Her smell is more agreeable too, she smells like ink and cinnamon paper. From my position, I can easily peer at her face, not that I can see any details, straight blue hair, a labret piercing and a light blue paper flower in her hair. She isn't quite beautiful as I have no way to define beauty, but there's an exotic edge to her person that prompts people to look at her. Beautiful doesn't do her justice, stunning is more appropriate.

" _Nagato_." The woman–Konan–states, lowering her eyes to assert my condition.

"She's _me_." The boy– _Nagato_ –says simply, answering a question that I didn't hear Konan asking.

Konan seems satisfied with the answer because she turns on her heels and walks off. Nagato remains frozen in his position as we leave the narrow corridor, watching us until we take a turn and disappear from his sight. Even out of his direct sight, there's this strange impression that he can still see us. I drowse in Konan's arms, barely aware of my surrounding as she takes several turns and goes up several stairs. When I jerk awake again, she's gently lowering me on an uncomfortable bed, the mattress so thin that I can feel the wood underneath.

She doesn't wrap me in the blankets but rather kicks them away and removes the pillow under my head. She puts a head on my forehead to ascertain my state and sighs breathlessly. Her demeanor screams fatalism as she straightens up. Gently, she brushes the bangs out of my forehead, dabbing the sweat with her sleeve. With deft movements, Konan produces a paper flower literally from thin air that she gently slips in my shaking hand.

" _Do not die_." She says tonelessly.

Then she's gone, the sole trace of her existence being the paper flower in my pudgy hands.

Days could have passed then. Months. Years. I don't know. I only remember endless nights of trashing around and the horrible feeling of sleeping, losing any control over my body and chocking, unable to make my lungs functional. I remember endless nights of crying and trying to scream, trying to call for help but unable to make my vocal cords obey. The terrifying sensation of falling, falling again and again and the fear of wondering when will the fall stop. I remember asking for death, begging, praying whatever divinity existing out there to bring me salvation, to kill me here and now.

I think I died. At some point, I couldn't even tell if I was alive or not. I don't know how long I stayed there, in that pitch-black hole that made me feel neither alive nor dead, giving up on both and resigning myself that there would be nothing else but that nothingness, that emptiness. Finally, one day, it ceases. Familiar sounds brush my ears and after an undefinable amount of time, I manage to focus on the very familiar buzzing sounds assaulting my ears. I lose them several times, each time returning to this agonizing nothingness until at some point, I manage to latch onto the sound and never let it go.

My sense of touch comes back next. Progressively like my hearing, I manage to grab things and ascertain what I am touching and what is my back resting on until I have full control of my limbs again. Only then, do I remember that I've been brought to an unspecified place by a stranger. My eyesight comes back at last, faster than my other senses. My physical sight doesn't change from its usual blurry condition–probably the reason why it comes back faster–but my  _other_   _sight_  seems clearer, neater, broader.

I stretch my hand slightly and feel the biting of sharp crystal. A hand snatches mine before I can expend on my discovery and newly recovered  _other sight_ , and pins it to the bed. It's freezing and I have no trouble associating it with the boy who's brought me here in the first place–why? I do not know, where did he even find me?–and may or may not be linked to the strange affliction that struck me. The hand that doesn't hold me down checks my pulse first, then my heartbeat. He releases me when he finishes his ministrations though his presence still hovers at the edge of my  _sight_.

" _You're alive_." He states blankly, his voice so quiet that I suspect he simply cannot speak any louder.

I remain motionless, still unable to move properly as I simply stare at his general form. He doesn't seem to have changed meaning that I haven't been immobilized for long. Still, something seems different, a slight difference that my eyes can't see and my  _other sight_  is not designed to catch, but it's here. Maybe it's the way his gestures are softer and less firm or maybe his lighter touch, the way his hands hover over my form, sometimes touching me as if to make sure that I'm actually real, alive and kicking and other time brushing my wrists to make sure that I still emit body heat.

" _Sit up_."

I try to comply as best as I can, even if my limbs feel like jelly and scream in agony when I do the slightest movement. Sitting up feels like the hardest, most physically tiring action I've ever done. Muscles that I can't feel scream in pain and shake with exhaustion as I pull on them to try and straighten. Sitting up takes an embarrassingly slow amount of time as I manage to right myself then pitch forward, unable to muster the strength to remain upright. The boy– _Nagato_ –catches me without batting an eyelash as though expecting me to kill myself by dropping out of the bed and doesn't release me until I am comfortably leaning against the wall.

"You are alive." Nagato says again, voice pitched a tad bit lower, shaking almost.

I do not know what propels me to smile at this precise moment, but I do.

"Of course, I am," I rasp tiredly, teeth almost showing with how large I am smiling, "because you saved me, right?"

Nagato– _Nagato_ , I keep repeating inwardly, the name rolling perfectly on my tongue–says nothing as he stares at me, eyes glinting ominously in the darkness of the room. He raises his left hand and cups my cheek, his movements surprisingly gentle. His hand seems to tighten tentatively on my face, as though testing the amount of pressure he should apply– _oh_ , of course he wouldn't know how to handle me, because he is a corpse, isn't he? He probably doesn't have a sense of touch.

"From now on, the path you'll walk on will be full of obstacles. You will suffer like you never have before and even regret to follow me till the end. Still, are you ready to walk with me toward eternal peace?"

Nagato's voice is still surprisingly low–it's the voice of an adult, different from the youthful face he's sporting. His hand is nowhere near threatening on my face, rather comforting and I distantly wonder if it's what having a parent feels like. Nagato is obviously not my father, he's way too young to be and is  _not alive_  but he's the first person I saw when I came to and has been there with me since. He is not my parent, but I'd rather have him over whoever gave up on me previously. No matter if I end up suffering or worse. So long as it pleases this man who values me enough to ask my opinion instead of simply deciding for me, I'd rather suffer a hundred death.

"If it's Nagato-sama's wish, then I'll walk with you for how long my legs enable me to."

"…"

"…"

"Your name." Nagato says after a bit of silence, ignoring my previous declaration.

 _Name_?

"What is your name?" He repeats when I make no move to answer, confused by his sudden enquiry.

"I–"

No matter how much I try to think about it, the answer doesn't come. The only thing his question does, is proving what I was already aware of, Nagato picked me up somewhere after my relatives probably died or gave up on me. Either way, he is the only thing I have left in this world. I probably have no home or family to return to and even if I have, judging by the state I was in when he found me, I probably am not welcome to return. I am utterly alone with Nagato as my sole ally. Even if I had any other anyway, I would still choose Nagato over anyone else in a heartbeat.

Despite his coldness, Nagato is kind. He carried me in the gentlest way he could even though he has no idea how to handle me, tried to keep me close to him so that I remained warm even though he emits no body heat and brought me here for me to recover even though he had no obligations to. Most of all, he even asked if I wanted to follow him when I have nothing else in the world. He could've forced me to follow him and I probably would have, but he asked me if I wanted to. Those little, subtle gestures prove how kind he is. Nagato is like a God, silent, strong, watchful and attentive.

" _Yasu_." He finally says after the silence stretches too much and I raise confused eyes toward his. "The character  _Ya_  means  _refined_  and the character  _Su_  means water.  _Yasu_  means  _Peace_. For you who have embraced our ideal, that name shall be a remembrance of what we stand for and the objective we want to reach. Your name shall be Yasu."

For the second time that day, I don't know what propels me to smile but I do. For me who has no one and nothing, not even a name, Nagato is like a god. Silent, strong, attentive and  _caring_. The answer is obvious in my eyes. Nagato is like a God. He deserves the world to belong to him.

* * *

_For the 16 years of life she remained alive afterward, the newly dubbed Yasu did not treasure anything in her life as much as she treasured her name. Yasu was the name Nagato had given her. She lived with it and died with it, forbidding anyone from taking away what she held dearest. No one took it from her. Not the man who killed Nagato nor the one who killed her. Yasu rose with this name and died with it. No one called it again after she disappeared. No one remembered it either._

**Seven Deadly Sins**

* * *

I do not know what being or having a family entails, but one thing is for certain, Konan, Nagato and I are no family at first, or if we were, a thoroughly dysfunctional one at least. I spent my first ten months in Amegakure without seeing either of them, attended by a man who could have been Nagato, should have been Nagato but was frustratingly not. Not really, not entirely, no truly Nagato but him on so many levels that it drove me crazy.

Ningendo-sama has Nagato's orange hair, the same metal studs piercing his face but above all, the purple-colored, ripple-patterned eyes that seem to see through everything. Though it could be his natural face seeing as his facial expression never changes, Ningendo-sama's face is also less serious, less closed. His voice isn't quite the same, a bit deeper, a bit smoother but he expresses himself the same way Nagato does, with the same body motions. The only thing that truly differs is the face and even then, finding Nagato in it is quite easy. Ningendo-sama is Nagato but is not.

The first weeks are spent learning how to move and walk again. My body is mostly unresponsive and there're times when it shuts down, when I can't seem to control it anymore, when it doesn't listen to me. When it happens, Ningendo-sama is always here, not touching me, never touching me but hovering close as if assessing, calculating. He never really talks to me when I don't talk to him first but he's always here, always watching me, always around even when I can't see him, I  _know_  he's here and the simple fact that he's near me soothes my erratic heart and frayed nerves.

After three months of constant effort, I manage to get my body under full control at last. Unimportant motions are done without thinking and even through effort, I don't have to concentrate to move anymore and that is a relief on so many level. When I don't have my body to concentrate on anymore, I decide to focus on Ningendo-sama to ignore the boredom. Though never quite talkative, he answers ever single of my question with infinite patience, always repeating when I don't get everything, even if he has to do so twice or thrice.

Ningendo-sama brings me books when I ask to, reads them to me when he realizes that I don't have the visual capacity to read them myself, combs my hair when they become too long for me to do it myself. He learns my likes and dislikes, only serves me meals that I will enjoy, walks along when I decide to take long walks to evade the walls that seem to be closing on me. He reads me bedtime stories, is always here when I wake up from a bad dream and always has a meal ready before I even start to feel hungry. Loving Ningendo-sama is as easy as loving Nagato, easier even.

Ten months go by this fashion, spent with Ningendo-sama, lacking nothing but still wondering where the two individuals who brought me here are. I don't quite miss them as I've known them for little over a few hours– _minutes_ , even–but they're the first people I saw when I opened my eyes, the only people my mind allows me to remember. They're precious in a different way that Ningendo-sama is but precious all the same. Therefore, ten months, two weeks and sixteen hours after my arrival in Amegakure, I finally decide to ask Ningendo-sama about Konan and Nagato.

"Where have Nagato-sama and Konan-sama gone to?" I ask simply, interrupting Ningendo-sama mid-sentence and craning my neck where I am sitting on his knees to peer at his face.

Even though everything is deformed and blurry around me, Ningendo-sama's eyes always appear perfectly clear.

"Why are you asking?" He asks after a pregnant pause.

"Because I want to see them." I answer without missing a bit, left ear resting against Ningendo-sama's chest, where I can't hear his heart beat.

Ningendo-sama doesn't answer and resumes his lecture from where he stopped. It means the discussion is over. Later that day, as I snuggle under the blankets to escape the cold and Ningendo-sama watches me with vacant eyes, uncaring, unfeeling, I can't help but smile. It's the same expression he's wore for the past ten months and he hasn't stopped taking care of me since then. Whether he cares or is simply acting out of orders is irrelevant because  _I_  do care. In the end, that is all that matters.

"Nagato and Konan will be here tomorrow." He says out of the blue, staring at me with passive eyes when mine snap up to his. "You will refer to Nagato as Tendo and never mention his given name anymore, except if you are expressively given the authorization to. You will obey Nagato the same way you have obeyed me."

"But I'm already obeying Nagato-sama, am I not?"

For the first time since I have met him, Ningendo-sama loses his serene expression for the expressionless one I have seen Nagato make. He closes the distance between us in two strides, looms over me with the hundred centimeters he has over me. In the darkness of the room, his eyes seem to glow even more ominously than usual. For the first time since I have met him, Ningendo-sama touches me. I have touched Ningendo-sama before, but only where he wears clothes, our skin never made contact. This time, he cups my cheek like Nagato did before, his hand freezing on my warm skin. His hand tightens, careful not to apply too much force and hurt me then loosens.

"You are." He says softly, his hand lingering on my small cheek before he finally turns on his heels.

"Have a goodnight Ningendo-sama." I say warmly, aware that this may be my last time seeing him.

Ningendo-sama nods without turning and disappear through the open door that closes behind him. I won't see him anymore until I reach 13. Instead, the next morning, I wake up to a gentle hand combing my bangs and Konan's amber eyes. She's exactly how I remember last seeing her, pale face, glowing eyes and worried expression. There's blood running down the whole length of her face and disappearing under the collar of her oversized coat. Konan's lips twitch when her eyes meet mine and her expression softens ever so slightly.

" _Yasu_." Konan says softly, warmly even and I can't help but purr under her touch.

"Where were you?" I ask after a bit of silence.

My hand automatically reaches for the ornament Konan wears in her hair, curious as to what it is. Konan doesn't even hesitate as she lowers her head to enable me easier access. I cup the accessory, thumb carefully brushing the petal of the paper flower to visualize its appearance. It's surprisingly soft.

"Fighting Hanzo." Konan answers my previous question, eyes crinkling with  _something_  when I raise curious eyes toward her. "He's… He's the one restraining our freedom, at the moment."

"Is N-… Tendo-sama going to kill him?"

"He must pay with his life." Konan whispers, voice soft but with a deadly undertone.

I immediately latch on to her, hands leaving her hair to encircle her waist, snuggling up to her warm body. Unlike Ningendo-sama or Tendo, Konan is warm. She smells like ink and cinnamon paper and the arms that hug me back are comforting. Konan is undoubtedly alive. If Tendo is God, then she's his angel; warm, gentle and soft. It feels like I fell in an otherworldly domain, with overwhelmingly powerful people when I'm nothing but a frail, faulty creature. My grip on her coat tightens.

"I want to fight too." I whisper, voice muffled but totally audible. "I want to fight for  _you_. Let me be your weapon."

"Those are dangerous words, Yasu."

"I don't care. I want to fight too. Let me fight for you."

Konan takes my word for it.

Spending time with her is different than spending time with Ningendo-sama. Konan seems almost motherly, what with the way she always hovers while trying to pretend she does not; struggles not to help me whenever I falter so that I can learn on my own; coos over me when I succeed something she has taught me. The first thing Konan teaches me–it takes me 4 months to have a proper grasp of it but once I do, it seems perfectly natural–is chakra control. She spends hours folding paper with me and showing me how to infuse small amounts of chakra inside.

Controlling my chakra doesn't come naturally at first, quite simply because I do not manage to feel my own chakra. There's some kind of energy inside me, I know there is, but it feels sluggish and unresponsive. Meditating doesn't work, nor does exercise and at the end of each session, I always feel frustrated with my lack of progress. Each time I walk out of our session, unable to infuse the barest amount of chakra in any origami, shame creeps up. I'm supposed to be their weapon, but a weapon that is dull is useless and at the moment, I am nothing if not dull.

4 months go by this fashion, Konan watching me with inexhaustible patience, never ceasing to re-explain things to me whenever I ask her. By the fourth month, I probably have folded 10 000 papers, my hands not even hesitating anymore. The frustration keeps growing, what with the way I am wasting her time when there is a war going on and she could be fighting in it, helping instead of sitting here with me all day. Surprisingly, Tendo is the one who finds a solution.

4 months and two weeks after the beginning of my training, Tendo shows up for the first time, seemingly out of nowhere in the middle of our session. His entrance is perfectly seamless, Konan barely tilts her head to the right to acknowledge his presence, the gesture not alerting me. One of the shards around me tinkles, seems to light up briefly and it's when I turn my head to eye it, that I notice Tendo standing behind me, perfectly still. If he had the emotional capacity to pull it off, his eyebrow would've probably arched with something like curiosity.

"You noticed me." He states slowly, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine.

But I did not.

"I didn't." Is my answer, head tilting to the right in confusion. I point toward the shard that bothered me, "I turned because this one lighted up. It was distracting me."

Tendo crouches in front of me, briefly eyeing the spot that I'm pointing before his eyes focus on me again.

"What did?"

My eyebrows furrow as the confusion grows. Resisting to the urge to fidget, I briefly glance toward Konan to see her eyeing the same spot I pointed to Nagato with a raised brow. I can see it in the way her eyes flicker left and right not quite on the exact spot the shard is, that she cannot see it. Heartbeat picking up as I realize that I might be even more crazy than I initially thought, that I am seeing things that are not here, I raise agitated eyes toward Tendo.

"They–… It's–"

I flinch when Tendo's hand reaches for me and his gesture freezes mid-motion.

"You are not in any trouble, Yasu." Konan says soothingly, left hand gently combing through my hair. "We're merely curious."

"It's all around me." I whisper slowly, eyes not leaving Tendo's. "Like… like it's forming a circle. When you move, the ones in your direction clink. Just now, the one behind me tinkled then flickered. That's why I turned."

"Natural sensor." Tendo says without missing a beat, eyes closing briefly.

"Though, unorthodox sensing technique." Konan hums, answering a question that I didn't heard him ask. "Well, it may have to do with her bloodline. Anyway, it facilitates things."

I turn confused eyes toward Konan when she leans toward me with half-lidded eyes. The bird origami she's holding flares up to life and the three shards that separate me from Konan start to clink and flicker wildly. There's a faint buzz sound that seem familiar and I can't help but latch onto it, the sound soothing to my ears. Konan smiles then and uses her left hand–she's always favoring this one, is she left-handed or is her right hand incapacitated?–to vaguely gesture to the left.

"You see it, right? Or hear it, depending on the kind you are.  _This_ , is your chakra. Reacting to mine, feeling it,  _sensing_ it. You couldn't feel it at first because it's directed outward, it's what's maintaining those shards around you, which warn you when chakra's used around you. Though natural sensing is not that rare, what you are doing is really unorthodox. It might be…"

"Natural imbalance. It's compensating for her lack of sight. A frequent disability for the ones who carry this bloodline." Tendo states at Konan's enquiring look.

I eye the two of them alternatively, not understanding the words going back and forth.

"Am I…" I hesitate for a moment as both attention focus on me again, "…doing something wrong?"

"I guess you could say that." Konan muses, eyes glancing toward Tendo who's eyeing me with intense eyes. "Depends on what your vision of wrong is."

Since neither seem upset by the existence of my shards, I wager that it's a good thing and need not to concern myself with it. Tendo hovers for two more days, sitting on the windowsill and lost in his thoughts during our sessions before he announces that he'll be gone again. Four months and three weeks after her arrival, Konan leaves my side again, along with Tendo. She tucks me under the covers, smiles as she wishes me goodnight and promptly disappears as though my spending time with her was a dream.

Instead of Konan-sama, I wake up to a man who is unsurprisingly orange-haired, purple-eyed and has piercings all over his face. He introduces himself as Chikushodo-sama with a voice warmer than Tendo or Ningendo-sama even. He could almost pass off as a regular human being with actual feelings if it wasn't for the coldness in his eyes. His eyes are nowhere as cutting as Tendo's but even as he tries to soften his icy glare, he is not very successful. Still, I beam at him as he takes a step forward and raise my arms, demanding to be carried. These eerily familiar physical traits inspire nothing but calmness inside me. It makes me feel protected.

He takes me in his arms without second thoughts, his face doing a weird twist as though trying a  _smile_  and I can't help a giggle a I poke his cheek, skin ice cold under my finger. Chikushodo-sama eyes my amused face for a moment before he furrows his eyebrows and try harder to  _smile_. My hilarity abates slightly as warmth pools in my stomach. With slow motions, I put my hands on each of his cheeks, successfully preventing him from trying to hurt his stoic face even more.

"It's okay." I say in a comforting voice, "Chikushodo-sama doesn't need to smile for me to love him. I already do."

Chikushodo-sama doesn't say anything after that, but he doesn't try that poor imitation of a smile again either so I can consider it a win.

Spending time with Chikushodo-sama is almost the same as spending time with Ningendo-sama instead that he's being more considerate and strangely more affectionate. Not that Ningendo-sama was neither of those things, but with Chikushodo-sama, it's just a notch  _higher_. When Ningendo-sama seemed intent on limiting physical contacts, Chikushodo-sama is surprisingly the one to seek them out, grabbing my hand at random times as though to reassure himself that I'm not just a figment of his imagination and intent on carrying me everywhere when I have perfectly functional legs.

My training also advances more quickly than with Konan, simply because despite his generally more careful nature, he's way less gentle than she was. By the third week with Chikushodo-sama and at the tender age of 6 years old, I am already completely aware of my chakra and the way it's mostly always directed outward and forming a protective circle around me, warning me whenever chakra is used in a 2 meters perimeter. When I have the chakra awareness down, we move on the next step which is chakra control.

Chakra control comes much more easily than chakra awareness did. Chikushodo-sama supplies me with white slip of papers–that I suspect to be Konan's–to stick first to my palm, then to my fingers when I have that down, then to the two of them at the same time. By the third month, I can stick ten slips of papers on each of my fingers simultaneously and one on my forehead. When I have the chakra control part down, he moves on to reigning the chakra that I naturally expel outside and that may have been the most difficult exercise I ever had to do. It took me a total of 11 months to be able to reign in completely my chakra and keeping it inside,  _controlled_ , without it going wild.

2 months before my eighth birthday, Konan and Tendo come back. Chikushodo-sama stills in the middle of a sentence, his eyes go blank and his face go slack, then he moves through a fury of hand-sign, too fast for me to follow and when he slams a hand on the floor, Konan and Tendo appear in a billowing cloud of smoke, the latter supporting the former as Konan sways on her feet, the left side of her face drenched in blood, eyes unfocused.

I immediately jump to my feet but Chikushodo-sama grabs my shoulder before I can take even a step in their direction. His hand is shaking on my shoulder and the expression of cold fury on his face is the same as the one on Tendo's face. Wordlessly, I shrug Chikushodo-sama to approach Konan-sama as Tendo gently lowers her on the floor, scooting over slightly to make room for me even though he shouldn't have been able to see me approach since his back was turned to me.

He gently opens Konan's large coat and actually falters at the sight of her  _charred_  side, blood all over her side, the wound smelling burnt flesh and so deep that her hip-bone is visible underneath all the blood and burnt skin. A vague of nausea hits me as I watch her, dark spots dancing in my vision and my hand shoots out to grab Tendo's sleeve. Konan looks pale as a corpse, like… my eyes slowly slid from her to Tendo's unusually tight face.

Her breathing is slowing and when I turn toward Chikushodo-sama, whose hands are half-raised in hesitation, I know that if neither of us make a move before an actual medic arrives, Konan will die right here. My eyes slid to my trembling hands, small, trembling hands who'd been made of crystal in of those hazy dream, who'd made the skin so hard wounds didn't hurt and blood stopped pouring. It's a first to see Tendo  _not_ knowing what to do and Chikushodo-sama unable to make a decision. I know that I would never forgive myself if Konan were to die with none of us trying anything to save her.

Trying to quell the fear and panic pooling in my stomach, I reach with my two hands, my palm brushing the wound directly and making her cry out in pain. Tendo jerks from my peripheral vision but I ignore him in favor of concentrating on the task at hand. First, I reign in all my chakra inside like Chikushodo-sama taught me to, then direct it toward my arms, concentrating as much as I can in my fingertips. Since I have never done it before, I try to visualize what I want the crystal to do, spread all over the wound and put it in stasis so it would stop aggravating.

Sweat build up on my forehead and my arms start to shake as I realize the tremendous amount of  _chakra_  it actually takes to form crystal out of nothing. The air shift but nothing happen and I know I can't give up here, having barely tried. Changing my mental imagine, I try to imagine the crystal sprouting directly from Konan's  _blood_ , not encompassing the wound but  _merging_  with it instead. Though the amount of chakra I put in the task is lesser than try to form crystal out of  _nothing_ , it's still way more than I can produce,  _still_.

There's a soft clinking sound in the silence, then the rose-like matter springs from the tip of my fingertips, using the blood as catalyst and cover the entirety of the wound, freezing it in a state of nothingness as the blood pouring from it has become solid. I manage a small, triumphant smile before I black. I must have only lost consciousness for a few minutes for when I open them again, 5 people are carrying Konan over a stretcher and scurrying out of the room under Chikushodo-sama's watchful eyes. Judging by the way his arm is encircling my waist and my head is cushioned against his hip, Tendo must have prevented my head from hitting the ground when I fainted. Though his expression is the same as always, his eyes are full of gratitude as he eyes me and his face feels softer, kinder than Ningendo-sama's sere one and Chikushodo-sama's warm one.

" _Thank you_." He says and under all the seriousness, the apathy, I can hear a child as scared as I was back then.

I wonder if that's what the person behind Tendo, Ningendo-sama and Chikushodo-sama is. A child.

"I  _will_  fight for you." I say, eyes resolute and there's a dedication that I can't quite understand burning in my intestines. "I will make sure that you get your peace."

Konan lives; and everything is set in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frankly speaking, I don't even understand what I'm doing with this story. The only thing I know, is that 28 months went by in this chapter. I hope it's 28.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to apologize profusely if I'm hurting anyone's feelings. That is not the aim of this story. I don't have anything against religion or God in general so please do not take any offense, this is a fictional world, I know how to dissociate my personal feelings and those of my characters.
> 
> Also, this work doesn't belong to me I guess. Wonder whose property it is.
> 
> Please, leave a review before closing the page.


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